I MET GOD

 

“Be still and know that I am God”

 When all understanding was lost on unexplained simplicities of life and love

When all hope was gone and I was standing there all by myself

On the highway to nowhere

Or so I thought

When I lost my sanity due to my own insane complexities

When my prayers were answered but I just didn’t recognize

Didn’t ask the right questions

Listening for the wrong answers

I blamed Him for my own intent and uncertainties

Making deals, wanting to have my own way

Wanting the gold medal for all my tears, my efforts

The love and life that should be mine

Or so I thought

On one perfectly, ordinary day I lost you and almost lost my way

But Just as I was about to give up

I met God

 

Life is a runaway

Spent my life chasing a love that just wasn’t going my way

Dying for a love that’s passed away

But through His tunnel of vision

He made me see that I had to lose you to find my way

Part of me may never understand His logics

May never agree with His tactics

But I’m giving His way a chance

I believe that He must have a special plan for my life

I believe in His goodness and love

I have no quiver of a doubt that He is working in my favour

 I thank Him for the blessing that I have learnt my lesson

But every now and again I slip back into that same old person

Life keeps getting in the way

But my God is with me

And I pray, by me He’ll stay

He saved me from myself

The only reason I am alive today

God must really love me

 Just as I was about to give up

Just as I was about to turn off the lights on life, end it all

I met God

 My God loves me and I know His love will never end

 

********************************************************************************************************************************

 

STRONG ENOUGH TO CRY

 

A beautiful, black woman

That’s what I am

Strong with God on my side

And subtle at heart

But sometimes the storms of life

Blow in winds of surprise

And the truth is, sometimes I cry

 

I cry because that’s all I have

The problem with being strong

Is that no one believes you when you’re down

But I am strong enough to cry

 

My tears are not a sign of weakness, but freedom

After the storm, comes the calm

And with new wings of reflection and wisdom

I can fly

 

Happy I can’t always be

But I am really great being me

And strong enough to cry

 

 ***********************************************************************************************************************************

 

I HAVE LOVED RIGHT

 

 I have loved

Yes I have loved

Criticize me for all that I’ve done

Maybe

I say maybe you think I’ve done wrong

But how can loving ever be wrong

Maybe it’s the how or the where

Maybe it’s the “who”

But however, wherever, whoever I’ve loved

I have loved right

 Judge not for love cannot be judged

 I can tell you of my pain

And I can tell you of my joys

I can count the million teardrops shed

But the laughter remains in my head

I could express my love deep and true

Believe me when I tell you

I’ve sampled the sweet and the sour

And in spite of it all

I have loved right

 

I have loved

The best way I know how

Maybe

I say maybe I have loved selfishly

In shameless ecstasy

Maybe it’s not all been fair

But to love I dare

 Yes I have loved, deeply

Completely and I’ve fallen hard

Though it didn’t always last

In every circumstance

Each time I gave without holding back

And each time

I have loved right

 Maybe

I say maybe

I have loved without experience

But not without knowledge

I’ve lost and I’ve gained

And I will love again

Love knows my name

 

I have loved

And always~

I have loved right

 

*************************************************************************************************************************************

 

A BEAUTIFUL MIND

 

I fell in love with his mind

If there were any physical attractions

I’ve by-passed them

I got touched by the heart

 

I fell in love with his mind

I’m not in it for a season but a lifetime

Nothing less

With thorns and weeds

Roses or musical chimes

I know we’ll be just fine

 

Emotions are running high

But I love this man without an indecent thought

I don’t need a lot

I share his beautiful heart

But he’s won my heart

 

This love, spiritual and deep

Trusted and sweet

Fills to overflow my pot of gold

And this “less” is so much more

 

Never have I felt his touch, his embrace

Or saliva-ed his kiss

But I bathe in the showers of his love

He’s my very special friend

My distant friend

With whom I fell in love

 

I fell in love

But I fell in love with his beautiful mind

 

*******************************************************************************************************************************************

 

I DON’ T KNOW YOU BUT…

 

 I don’t know you but~

I want to reach out and touch you

I want to be close to you

I want to talk with you but say nothing

I want to gaze at you only when you’re not looking

 I don’t know you but~

I want to be with you

I want to be deceived by you unknown

I don’t know you but~

That thrills me and I could love you, so easily

Still not knowing you

I don’t know you but~

I love the way your presence tickles my heart

Touches my being and warms my senses 

I don’t know you but~

You bring out the best in me

The sweetest, most sensual part

 I don’t know you but~

I like you and I want to maintain my not knowing you

Because I already like what I don’t know

And knowing more can only complicate~

That which thrills me

Deceives me and draws me to you

 

********************************************************************************************************************************************

 

BEFORE I GO

 

Before I go

Tell me of the eulogies untold

Tell me now while I live

Was I kind, was I funny

Tell me

Did I monopolize my time

Was my existence on this earth worthwhile

Tell me now

Before I go

 

Before I go

Come, take my hand and dance with me one last dance

Walk with me, side by side

Pray with me one last prayer

Talk to me one last time

Before I go

 

Before I go

Take the best of me

Take my cheerfulness and my gift to forgive

Take my loyalty

Take my special kind of love

Take the best

And before the manuscript of my life is covered with dust

Take the rest

 

Before I go

Let’s put on a show

I’ll put on my best dan-dan

I’ll do my own makeup

And paint the brightest smile on my face

That when I lie in my bed of dark – down below

Alone, still and blind

So will you remember me

In my private room, bright with a perpetual glow

 

Before I go

Hear my confession and gratitude, accept

May my heart be free from sorrow

And my thoughts pure

May peace find me and my spirit free

Before I go

 

And after I go

Let the orchestra play

Sing, dance and celebrate

With music and songs, even a few jokes

Don’t cry because it’s too late~

For “I’m sorry” or promises not kept

PLEASE NO REGRETS

Don’t let your days and your outlook be covered in black

It’s not what I’d want

Let the show go on

I’ll be the host and you, the guests

 

Moreover, the portrait of me that will hang in your hearts

Let it be a symbol, not of death

But of life

Not the fantasy life painted

The real life

The life I’ve lived

 

And when the time comes to lay me down

What truth will you tell

What rumours will spread around my everlasting bed

Never more to be heard

 

There where I lie

Let life grow

Butter-cups; jump up and kiss me and forget-me-nots

No artificial presence is authorized

Better Crotons, weeds and shrubs

 

Standing around the corners of my castle’s tomb

Bear in mind that I’m going to meet my sweetheart

The man in the moon

With my best dan-dan and my happiest smile

All dressed in white

Oh, I can hear the church bells ringing

And violins, hanging from the heavens

 

Remember my once carefree spirit

Remember my laughter before I stopped laughing

Remember me happy

Looking down on you, smiling from heaven’s balcony

Remember to smile when you think of me

 

LIFE IS A CROWD. SMILE LOUD!

Death can’t be that bad. After all, I’ve never met anyone who ever came back.